The Psychology of Wedding Films
Why do the best weddings make us cry? I believe the overwhelming convergence of significant people, powerful words, aesthetic beauty and heightened emotions might have something to do with it.
At the crossroads of my own experiences as a journalist, psychology teacher and filmmaker is the psychological principle of gestalt. Quite simply, gestalt is defined by Oxford Languages as “an organized whole that is perceived as more than the sum of its parts.” Weddings definitely match this definition.
While we’re “in the moment” our brains take in a plentitude of stimuli through our senses of touch, smell, hearing, taste and sight. This flow is managed through multiple levels of processing and encoding to give us a robust immediate experience plus some hasty entries into our short-term memory. But before we can consolidate those memories through rest, there are more memories trying to be made… and more. This cognitive backlog results in that “overwhelmed” sensation. And, yup, there are often tears.
While it might seem that tears are good, we can also be left with imperfect memories as a result. The presence of cortisol, a stress hormone, causes our brains to curb functions that are considered non-essential in “fight-or-flight” situations, and memory functions are deemed non-essential.
So, whether we’re awash in tears of joy or labouring under tearful conditions of stress (two possible wedding day conditions for couples), we’re more than likely to flunk the memory test for our own wedding day. With such a huge investment of time and finances, to lose details in the fog of emotion on such an important day seems like a tragedy.
As a recent father-of-the-bride, I’m familiar with this experience. It’s one of the reasons why I now make media fulltime. A carefully-planned wedding film isn’t just a record of what happened. It’s an intentionally-crafted story that begins long before the main event. Knowledge of the couple, the family and the wedding priorities are deeply necessary for a filmmaker to do his/her/their work.
Filmmakers on the leading edge of their craft take a larger view of the story that unfolds around a wedding event. In effect, they are the synthesizers of all elements seen and unseen. They are in more places throughout the day than any single attendee.
Connection with a planner can be very helpful as wedding planners are the directors of the event; thus, they possess knowledge vital to successful storytelling. Every wedding detail from flowers to favours is thoughtfully considered and, in a solid wedding film, they are well documented. Ideal wedding media draws from multiple perspectives – from back-row guests to front-row parents to the point of view of the special couple themselves. It will cycle through a number of moods and will reflect the emotional heft of this intimate event.
According to at least two prominent Quinte area wedding planners, skipping a wedding film can be one of the few major regrets of newlyweds. In hindsight, a carefully-planned wedding story offers the gestalt-informed perspective that permanently preserves beautiful and powerful memories.
