Confiding in strangers
Why storytelling facilitation sometimes brings out the best
Clichés cease to be cliché when family stories are being told. Sometimes rags do turn to riches. And these are the stories that we need to offer our future generations. At least this is the sentiment that Sanj expressed when he reached out to arrange a filming session for his Dad, Samuel.
So many stories - some never before told - were heard in my afternoon with Samuel. Sometimes rags do turn to riches. And sometimes riches encompass more than just material things. I’m so thankful to have been invited by Samuel’s son, Sanj, to be a facilitator of these important stories.
Sanj heard bits and pieces of his Dad’s story over the years, but Samuel is quite understated and would often demur at the prospect of sharing something a little more cohesive.
When two heart attacks in short succession threatened to cut short the chance to hear Samuel’s story more fully, Sanj invited me to visit his Dad.
As a storytelling professional, I welcomed the chance to sit with Samuel for a chat. What unfolded was a session in which Sanj and I heard details from his Dad’s life that hadn’t been shared previously.
Samuel really did live in poverty in rural India. He really did leave his hometown with the clothes on his body and 10 rupees in his pocket. With a sparkle in his eye, he recalled key moments that shaped his thinking about friendship, religion, risk-taking and education. His story spans the globe and chiefly among all topics, he spoke fondly of his wife, his children and his grandchildren. He chuckles as he connects the boy “with the dirty shirt and 10 rupees” with his expansive family who thrive as health care professionals, up-and-coming financial professionals and respected community members.
While the conversation took some twists and turns through time and place, the raw material for a cohesive life story film was realized. As the arrow of time takes us ever forward, Samuel’s conversation yielded treasured anecdotes to preserve for those great grandchildren as they appear on the horizon somewhere in the future.
For DIY-ers, try introducing the concept of a storytelling session to your interviewee a few weeks in advance. Even make a list of topics in collaboration with your interviewee that includes such ideas as earliest memories, childhood friends, favourite possessions, or first jobs. Ideally, one would include prompts about transitions in life such as moving house, meeting significant people or career choices. Deeper concepts could be prompted in advance or could come up on the day of the interview. Examples of these might be story starters like: “Describe one thing that you know is true” or “Tell me about someone who taught you a valuable lesson.” Open ended prompts always lead to more elaborate storytelling.
The refreshing of stories by telling them to welcoming strangers may, as in the case of Samuel, bring out details that sometimes get omitted. The use of a novel audience may seem, at first, to be antithetical to good storytelling but experience seems to suggest that people are inherently enthusiastic about sharing their tales when eager listeners are present.
